If you’ve landed here because your marriage is struggling, you probably have a lot running through your head. Don’t try to answer every question today. Start with the problem that needs attention first.
Which one sounds closest?
- I’m afraid the marriage may be ending. Go to Save My Marriage.
- We can’t talk without fighting. Go to Communication.
- We feel more like roommates. Read My Marriage Feels Like We’re Roommates.
- My spouse has pulled away. Read Signs of Emotional Disconnection.
- There has been lying, secrecy, or an affair. Go to Trust.
- We need a counselor or some other kind of help. Go to Counseling & Help.
Before you start a difficult conversation
Pick a time when neither person is already angry, exhausted, or walking out the door. Talk about one problem. Explain what happened and how it affected you without claiming to know exactly what your spouse was thinking.
Then ask for one manageable next step. You’re much more likely to get somewhere with “Can we talk for 20 minutes tonight?” than “Tell me right now whether this marriage is going to survive.”
You don’t have to force an answer today
Some situations need a conversation. Others need time, counseling, medical help, legal information, or a safety plan. The point of this site is to help you sort out which kind of situation you’re actually in.
Safety comes first
If you’re dealing with threats, coercive control, stalking, isolation, sexual pressure, financial control, physical harm, or fear of retaliation, ordinary communication advice isn’t the right starting point. In the United States, call 911 for immediate danger. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or use chat. Call or text 988 for suicide or emotional-crisis support.
General educational information only; not individualized professional advice.